Arrogance and Judgement

"Am I arrogant?" This is a question that I've found myself pondering a lot lately. Specifically, I have been concerned that I judge people too quickly, despite my deeply held conviction that we are rarely what we appear on the outside. I guess that it's only natural that as one grows in knowledge, he/she becomes more inclined to make predictions with that knowledge. Nevertheless, it's a precarious action isn't it?

In the first few days of college, one tends to meet people. I mean a lot of people. The questions: "What's your major?" tends to fly around a lot. I have always held a disdain for questions with any kind of value judgement hidden within them, whether it is purposeful or not.

I wouldn't say these types of question irk me because of the possibility of irrationality they present, but more because of a sort of weird PTSD I have with forms of verbal judgement. Though I remember little from my early childhood, one prevailing sensation I have is of Asian adult's eyes looking at me. They scanned me with their words, and boxed me in based on my grades.

And yet I engage in such "sizing up" myself. And though I'd like to just say that the action itself is still wrong regardless of my hypocrisy, it's ridiculous to suggest that such an action is inherently immoral. "Isn't a little judgement necessary?" This is yet another question that has been torturing me as of late.

I'm suddenly reminded of Matthew 7: 1-2.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

There's a lot of verses like this in the Bible that present seemingly obvious truths that take on a more powerful scope when one is experiencing the issue itself. I've struggled a lot with my thoughts, but the truth has suddenly become evident to me. Currently, I lack the strength to apply this simple verse in my life.

For once, I wrote this post without any coherent idea of where I want to go, and as a result it seems I've hit a dead end. But there's something to be said about the power of spontaneous writing. There's a vigor and youth to it that I want to preserve, no matter how much writing I do in the future.

In the end, this post originated from some thoughts in real life and a rereading of One Iris as it stands today. I've noticed that One Iris has start to become a sort of sink for me to play God and "bestow" my "wisdom" on my readers. That's not what I intended, and indeed such a structure is reeking of arrogance. The counter part of arrogance is humility, so starting now I hope to exercise it a bit better.