Role Play by Itoki Hana

I may not be a netflix binger, but I'll unabashedly admit that I'm a youtube addict. Whether it's for entertainment or education, I see youtube as a portal into a world of infinite creative potential. Content producers continuously astonish me with their artistic quality and innovative techniques, I'll definitely miss my youtube browsing sessions once school starts.

My favorite youtube discovery this summer is Itoki Hana's channel. She draws, animates, sings, and even embroiders in her covers and original music videos, giving them a unique authentic character that is as charming as it is potent. 

"Role Play" was the song that really drew me into the channel. The song is rather dark, opening as an unnamed character questions her place in a Role Playing Game (RPG). If you've never heard of these games, just know that they story driven games that focus on characters and world building. They are also known for their well defined classed systems (warrior, mage, thief, etc.), and the perspective that Itoki Hana takes on this mechanic is both unsettling and fascinating. 

The song depicts the creation of a class often left unexplored, at least from the player's perspective. That class is the villain. While classic RPGs often defined villains simply as "embodiments of ancient evil", Itoki Hana proposes a more human origin story revolving around lack of purpose and loneliness.

This concept is interesting on its own, but it's the connections that the song makes to the real world that are particularly powerful. Beginning at the second chorus, the song draws parallels from RPG roles to the roles we play in real life. Swords turn into to baseball bats and magic wands become artist's brushes. The main character continues to search for her purpose among these roles, but rather than find solace in them, they tear her apart.

Itoki Hana sings the final verse (starts at 4:05) with no effects applied, and only a sequence of beeps as an accompaniment. 

WHO did I want to be?

WHAT did I want to do?

I worked hard, I've shed blood and tears,

but I can't understand the meaning of them anymore.

This scene, even more than the implied suicide earlier, struck me as particularly chilling. It completes the idea of villains as lost dreamers and idealists. This feeling of working hard, yet discovering emptiness rather than fulfillment at the end is not unfamiliar to me. The accompanying cynism and hopelessness is the birthplace of villains.

In the end, the song proposes that "real life role play" is a deeply flawed system. Defining ourselves in terms of our explicit purposes and actions works for some people, but for those who have problems finding these roles, it is a lonely and ultimately personally corrupting system. 

Overall, "Role Play" is a haunting and beautiful melody. Give it a listen and see what your interpretation is. Itoki Hana provided a basic english translation to the lyrics in the video description. I touched them up a bit for phrasing and grammer below if you don't mind watching the video at a slower pace, just remember to turn the captions off first. 

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Role Play by Itoki Hana

IF you say you need a HERO,

I WILL be it.

... Oh, there is already a great hero here.

Then, WHO should I be?

If any EVIL doesn't exist,

I WILL be it.

Then when I'm defeated by the hero

I'll give him honor.

What IF I could be the person who I wanted to be,

But no one wants?

Couldn't find my place in the story,

And I got lost.

WHO and WHAT did I want to be?

In my loneliness

I forgot my dream.

IF there is no INN in this town,

I will make and open it.

Expecting, waiting for injured warriors.

IF there are no fight or arguments,

I will become the ENEMY. Then all of you can sing YOUR JUSTICE loudly.

What IF I could be the person who I wanted to be,

But no one wants?

Couldn't find my place in the story,

And I got lost.

WHO and WHAT did I want to be?

In my loneliness

I forgot my dream.

I will be any name, that you wish to call me.

I will be ANYTHING

THAT YOU WANT ME TO BE .

but, why...

WHO did I want to be?

WHAT did I want to do?

I worked hard, I've shed blood and tears,

but I can't understand the meaning of them anymore.

What IF I could be the person who I wanted to be,

But no one wants?

I forgot myself, I used to dream.